Christian Empathy Training: The Gay Method

It's been a while since I've visited the Coptic Church in my town.  I have my pick to choose from, and especially with the advent of the American Coptic brand of churches, one might think I'd find somewhat more of a home than I had in the past. Although I'm skeptical at this point.

On the one hand, there are many in the church who like the idea of gays and lesbians attending their church, in a posture of regret and denouncement of their gay lifestyles, however are probably not comfortable calling them friend, and even more problematic, are not sure how to handle the fact that many queer folk do not believe their orientation is something to be repentant of, so then what?  
On the other hand, people who identify somewhere on the LGBT spectrum could be a great gift for the church: by pushing the limits of conformity, sparking dialogue among people, building relationships (which happen to be the only way to change hearts).

But is it the responsibility of a gay person to carry the burden of changing the community?  

Is there another way for the church to change without queer men and women carrying the torch?

Is the church at this point ready to have these conversations?

Is the church a dangerous place for gay men and women?

Many questions to ask, few answers.  What do you think?