"But mama, I was born this way!"
Damn I wish I had the audacity to tell my parents this when I first attempted to come out to them at the tender age of 11. But instead, I followed their advice, and believed them when they told me I wasn't born gay, in fact I wasn't even gay, and in fact, there was nothing wrong with me, and if there was, it was the devil tempting me. Why would the devil tempt me? Because God allows his best and brightest to be tempted the hardest. So that's what I got for being a good altar boy: A hard-on for Mario Lopez.
|Devil to me: Girl: bad! AC Slater: Hot!|
How does the devil convince your brain to send blood to your penis? Is it in a whisper, or is it full-on control? On the flip side, how did the devil manage to tell my brain to withhold blood from my penis every time I would see Pam Anderson do the slow, boob-bouncing jog on Baywatch? I can picture it now: Young me, watching TV, a scene from a talk show, where male strippers are invited. If my sexual nature is heterosexual, the devil must have put heterosexual suggestions in my head in order for me to react accordingly, when the tall latino Adonis ripped his pants off and gyrated his junk in the face of Sally Jesse. Ok, I just grossed myself out.
The whole notion of the devil-made-me-do-it in regards to sexuality seems a bit far fetched, because no amount of prayer, fasting, or repression did anything to remove my homosexual feelings, nor did they enhance my heterosexual feelings.
But would you believe, I really believed I was straight, and that, yes… the devil made me do it. Turns out I've since learned that it's really heterosexuality that is the tool of Satan.